I sat on the edge of my bed as the first light slipped through the blinds. My body felt heavier than it had before sleep, and even the thought of moving was exhausting. My legs aching, my arms weak, I groaned at the idea of taking a shower…especially now that I needed a seat because I could no longer stand long enough to wash.
By then, mornings had become a negotiation. I woke an hour earlier just to give my body time to catch up before the day began.
I made my way to the kitchen, leaning on my walking stick, and slowly prepared a cup of coffee. Then I lowered myself into my office chair, feeling defeated… and that familiar thought surfaced:
‘Why is this happening to me?’
As I sipped my coffee, something inside me responded…this time it wasn’t gentle, yet it was exactly what I needed at that moment.
‘Give yourself a shake. What have you been learning?’
I felt it land in my body before I understood it. A sudden straightening through my spine, a deeper intake of breath, as if something inside me had woken up.
In that instant, the pattern I had been living inside for years revealed itself. My attention had been fixed on limitations, on what was broken, on what I believed to be unfair. That morning, instead of sinking further into that familiar weight, I noticed a small but real sense of choice returning to me.
So, I asked differently:
What would I rather have?
What could this situation offer me?
How can I use this hour in a way that supports me?
And with that my thinking changed. Just enough for a new possibility to emerge.
I wasn’t about to go for a five mile run, but there were things that I could do.
So I created a morning routine. Small, intentional steps that supported me:
Journalling for 20 minutes – the scratch of the pen on paper steadying my thoughts as the noise in my mind slowly emptied out.
Meditation for 20 minutes – feeling my breath deepen, my shoulders soften, my nervous system beginning to settle.
Reading for 20 minutes – stories that offered strength, healing, and hope.
I read about people who had walked through things far harder than mine… and survived. People whose bodies had changed, whose lives had been interrupted. People who chose to rebuild from the inside out. And I learnt from them, about their mindsets, their strategies and the steps they took that made a difference for them.
That routine became a quiet turning point. It didn’t cure my symptoms or take away the challenges I faced… it shifted the narrative.
For me healing began with a different question asked on a tired morning when part of me wanted to give up.
A question that reminded me I still had influence.
A question that opened a pathway to change.
And as I moved along that path, I felt a quiet invitation rising from within. A soft settling in my chest, a steadiness in my breath, my nervous system easing as it invited me to notice, to respond, and to inhabit myself more fully.
Next time, I’ll share how those small shifts led to one unexpected physical change and how my body began responding long before my mind caught up.
